Monday, February 8, 2010
The house is so quiet without you here. And though everything is still in its place, just the way you left it, a feeling of emptiness hangs throughout the house. My toys are still spread all around the place, but I'm not as interested in them as I was before. All the birds and the stupid squirrels come by your bedroom window to see if you've left them something to eat, but they leave disappointed. And the squirrels don't seem to get me so excited anymore. Even the sunlight that streams through the living room windows just doesn't seem to shine as brightly as it used to.
When you were here our house was a home. It was just you, Dad and me. There was laughter, there was fun, with lots of walks and playtime, there was lots of cooking, often with table scraps, but mostly there was happiness, lots of happiness. That happiness is now gone, replaced by a hollow nothingness - a gaping void. How could this happen so quickly?
I remember when you and Dad came home from your appointment with Dr. May, and Dad's face was ashen. That was the day when our lives changed. I would listen to your conversations, and could see the abject terror in Dad's face. I heard you talk about clinical trials, radiation treatments, and I didn't know what all of that meant, until I heard the word cancer. Now I felt Dad's fear.
Cancer is a wretched disease, and one that we share in common with our humans. It robs us of our loved ones, and leaves in its wake shattered dreams and broken hearts. It strikes without prejudice or conscience. It is malevolent and an equal opportunity killer.
You also touched the lives of so many people, and not simply during your struggle with illness. You had a special way with people - and dogs too - by being genuine, kind and sincere. The generosity of your spirit was boundless. You always knew that the simplest gestures were the most meaningful. And that is what drew so many of us to you. You made this world a better place, Mom. You left behind a beautiful and gentile footprint for the rest of us to honor and emulate.
Dad said there is no reason or explanation for what happened. He said he could only arrive at one conclusion. As he gently rubbed my head, Dad said this: "I guess there are times when God needs to recruit angels to help Him do His work in heaven. And in this instance, Harry, He found an angel on earth in Mom, and He needed her more in heaven. I just wish He could have kept our angel here with us a lot longer."
Mom, I love you so much and I miss you terribly. I will cherish your memory always and will love you until the end of time.
With all my love forever,
And in the end,
the love you take,
is equal to
the love you make.
- The Beatles
In loving tribute to my darling wife, Dena.
Posted by Harry